Just Don't Say It!
7 years ago26 Sep
(Photo: Pokerq4.com)
Manners and politeness may not be at an all-time high in modern society, and probably even less so at the poker table, but there are certain phrases which really shouldnât pass your lips during play!
Iâm not just talking about âthe actionâs on you dickheadâ or âhoney, he called me with queen-tenâ â there are a number of silly things you should keep to yourself. Here we go with the top sevenâŚ
1. One time!
No! Just do not use this phrase. Please! If thereâs one thing guaranteed to make me fast-forward the WSOP coverage or mark someone down as an asshole, itâs this vastly over-used line.
And of course, itâs never just âone timeâ that certain players use it â itâs all the bloody time when they need to hit! Listen, if this is the one-time youâre going to hit, then itâll happen regardless of you asking for it â just zip it and see what falls.
2. Sorry!
No! What the fuck are you sorry about? You are there to beat people and take their money, thatâs the whole point of poker â donât insult them further, or yourself, by apologizing!
If you win a pot, even if you hit your one-outer on the river, then thatâs just poker â nothing to feel bad about. No need to gloat either, of course â just take your chips and get on with it and let your opponent bemoan his fate and existence if he wants!
3. I had 22 outs!
And? What exactly is your point? You didnât hit them did you â because youâre not meant to hit them all the time! Just keep it to yourself and remember that at some pint, if youâre playing well and correctly, youâll win the money back.
Coming across as a whinger isnât going to either impress anyone, or make them think youâre a pro for knowing your outs. You lost, next hand please.
4. Give me a queen dealer!
What? The dealerâs suddenly your friend with intimate knowledge of the next card? Give me a break. If the queen is going to appear she will in her own good time â why make the dealer feel awkward or bad about it when she doesnât?
Itâs the same as players âprayingâ for a card â why should some god or dealer favour you over anyone else in the game? Get a grip and grow some balls!
5. Nice hand!
Really? The hand that just bust you was nice? Well unless youâre being serious and really mean it (which is about, like, almost never when this phrase rears its ugly head) then just donât say it!
If youâre saying it sarcastically because your opponent played really badly, then again best not to open your mouth. Just tuck his bad play away in the memory banks and punish him for it next time round.
6. The problem withâŚ
No, no, no! We all know youâre going to say Obama, or Trump or Cameron, or Muslims or whatever! Keep your political and religious ideologies to yourself! No-one else wants to discuss serious and/or controversial subjects at the poker table.
Why not? Because itâs not fun and it causes arguments and it detracts from the game itself. Save it for your buddies in your favorite bar (unless thatâs where and with whom youâre playing poker âin which case, knock yourself out!).
7. I canât believe you playedâŚ
No, Iâm sure you canât â but it doesnât mean whatever the other person did was bad; maybe they know more than you do! And if they really did do something dumb then a) donât let them know and b) so what â you want them to make mistakes!
Donât scare or insult people away from the game â itâs not only a bad way to act in general, but likely to cost you money and invites to games in the future!
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