Natasha Sandhu PokerTube Column - Relationships and Poker (Part 2)

This is a continuation of the Relationship and Poker column (Part 1) from the last week

Off on their travels

Most poker players, especially sponsored ones, will have to travel, whether it be in around UK, Europe or worldwide - even as far as Australia! This was somewhat different experience for me as I was lucky enough to be able to travel with Sam, but it is a very important to consider.

When we got the house and the dogs and I started travelling with him less I experienced the staying at home side of it too. Let me tell you, both were difficult! There are so many factors involved in this.

Travelling with them

Yes, this is amazing; it’s great you get to see so many places and experience different countries or cities. However, this has its downside as well. Even though you are with your partner, they are busy. Tournaments are on every day, all day, usually from midday until the midnight with just a one-hour dinner break.

What I’ve discovered is that I would get quite lonely. I would get up and have a breakfast with Sam, but then he would have to go and I would find myself running out of things to do or getting lonely and going back to the room to watch films.

I would of course go and meet him for his one hour dinner break, but this was an important time for the players to talk about the day so far and hands they have played and discuss the tournament.

So even though I was there, Sam was still a little too busy. Of course I was very understanding and that was fine; I was just happy to be there. Still, this sometimes meant that Sam (naturally) felt slightly guilty about me being on my own so much or not having much to do, which meant some days he would chose not to play and see me instead.

This meant he wasn’t fully doing his job so I suppose you could say I was a distraction from his game. As you can see, going with them has its ups and downs. On the days when he was free and we could go and do things, it was brilliant!

Staying at home

The other option for me, but possibly not an option for a lot of girlfriends due to other commitments such as work, was staying at home. Towards the end of our relationship I did stay at home as I stared to work from home and we had the house and 2 dogs to look after.

This is quite difficult. Firstly, they can be gone for quite a while; you miss them, you get lonely, and, depending on where they are time zone wise, it can be hard to even talk to them.

Take the Aussie Millions and the WSOP in Australia and Las Vegas for example. These are the 2 hardest to deal with and the longest they will be away. The time difference means that you are awake at separate times and only got a few hours a day to talk.

Overall, it is very difficult to keep a relationship consistent if they are travelling the circuit.

As a player – What can you do?

This is only my advice, my personal opinion on what you can do. Firstly, be honest. If you are getting in to a new relationship with someone, be honest with them about the ins and outs of your routine as a poker player.

Make sure they are fully aware in advance of what highs and lows that can be expected. It is much easier if they know from the beginning what they are letting themselves into.

Don’t take your work/mood home with you! Regardless if you’ve been playing away from home or even just online in a different room, when you have finished playing, compose yourself before you go and see your partner.

Leave the game at the table or a computer. Don’t take it with you; separate your game from your downtime with your partner. This will also help with a tilt control and the habit of playing when you shouldn’t be.

Communicate!! This is highly important, especially when you are travelling; keep in touch via Skype, face time, text, Facebook whatever it is you need to do or can do…DO IT!

Always let them know you’re thinking about them, or just chat with them, let them know how your day is going how you’re doing etc. I don’t care what girls say they: want to know where you are and what you are doing (haha). It keeps your relationship alive and keeps you close.

Finding the right person – It’s important you really consider this before entering a relationship with someone. You may be making it much more difficult for the both of you if the person isn’t suitable.

For example, someone with a 9-5 job may find it hard to understand it all and they often don’t get the “poker lifestyle”. They may also come to resent you and your lifestyle; of course, this isn’t the case all of the time but it may add a pressure to an already complicated scenario.

People who are more likely to understand your line of work are freelancers, self employed, other poker players, sports players and people that already work in poker. It may take some pressure off.

Everybody is different and you should follow your feelings for somebody; if that feels right then, of course, that’s whom you should go for regardless of your job or circumstances. You will make it work if you really want to.

My main advice would be to not let anything slip. Don’t forget to communicate, to take the timeout for one on one time, to not take out your losses or bad beats on your loved one.

It’s difficult to maintain a poker relationship. I know people such as myself and Sam have not managed to go the distance, but I also know the couples that are still going strong making it work and are happy.

I wish you all the best and I hope you are all lucky in love and in poker. (I feel really emotional haha). The same to Sam as well - all the best for the future.

So just to finish off, whatever you do, whomever you are with or enter a relationship with next… I have one last thing to say. BE HAPPY!! xxx

Thanks for reading!

Tash x