Essential Poker Sayings and Phrases

While researching my piece on Poker Hand Names a couple of weeks ago, I came across an equally interesting and amusing anthology of poker phrases, sayings, and quotes – some which were laugh-out-loud funny (that’s lol in ‘new-speak of course).

I thought about them again while languishing in a police interrogation room the other day, having been arrested for being an ‘Aggro’ player. Unfortunately the police officers had no clue about poker, and the conversation went something like this…

Police: Why were you being aggro?

Me: Well, it’s a normal way to be at the table when the others are so passive.

Police: Just because people are passive doesn’t give you the right to be aggro with them!

Me: I don’t think you understand…this one guy, every time he was under the gun…

Police: Gun! Who had a gun?

Me: No-one. He was under the gun…

Police: Somebody held a gun over him? What did he look like?

Me: I don’t know, it’s not important…anyway, I was holding the nuts…he limped in…

Police: You can’t do that! That’s assault! On a disabled guy as well, you douchebag.

Me: No, no, no! Listen, guys, I had pocket rockets….

Police: What did you say? Rockets in your pockets? That’s a firearm offence straight away!

Me: Oh my lord. It’s simple, I pushed my stack all-in…

Police: Ok wise-guy, enough of the dirty talk, you’re already in enough trouble with raising guns, grabbing the guy’s nuts and using pocket rockets on him...

Ok, this didn’t really happen, as you’ve hopefully worked out by now! But the jargon of poker would sound extremely unusual to anyone outside of the game.

How do you explain to your non-poker playing workmates things like: ‘Double Belly-Buster’ or ‘Coffee-Housing’ without having to explain half the game?

‘Splashing the Pot’ sounds like something you might be better off doing in the privacy of your bathroom – and indeed the saying may have come just such an occurrence! – but you’d at least have half a chance of guessing this one even if you knew only the basics of the game.

However, what if someone told you that a ‘Road Gang’ with their ‘Railroad Bible’ who wouldn’t know how to ‘Play on Their Belly’ even if the ‘Greek Dealer’ in the ‘Goulash Joint’ was a family member who gave them it ‘On the Finger’, would you know what was going on? Probably not.

If you managed to work your way through that one successfully, have a go at these ones which I’ve pieced together:

-There was no ‘White Meat’ to be had from the ‘Rock Garden’.

-I ‘Straightened Out’ my friend, only to see him ‘Slow-rolling’ some ‘Fast Company’ in a ‘Mitt Joint’.

-I ran into the ‘Brass Brazilians’ and somehow ended up ‘Tapioca’ in a ‘Berry Patch’.

If you managed to solve any of these sentences then you’ve done better than I would have before reading up on them. Try throwing them around next time your home game is on and see if your friends have a clue what you’re talking about- Just make sure they aren’t police officers!

• ‘Double belly-buster’ a hand which offers 2 inside straight draws
• ‘Coffee-housing’ talking about the game you are in to mislead other players
• ‘Splashing the pot’ to casually throw your money into the pot, making a mess and causing problems with counting-sometimes done deliberately
• ‘Road Gang’ a team of cheats
• ‘Railroad Bible’ a deck of cards
• ‘Play on their Belly’ playing honestly
• ‘Greek Dealer’ a dealer who cheats (a mechanic)
• ‘Goulash Joint’ a restaurant or bar that runs a regular card game hidden in a back room
• ‘On the Finger’ money given on credit

There was no ‘white meat’ (profit) to be had from the ‘Rock Garden’ (a group of tight players)

I ‘straightened out’ (introduced to an underground poker club) my friend, only to see him ‘slow-rolling’ to (to slowly reveal that you have the winning hand) some ‘fast company’ (tough, perhaps unscrupulous, players) in a ‘mittjoint’ (a card-house which allows/encourages cheating)

I ran into the ‘Brass Brazilians’ (the best hand, or 'the nuts.')and somehow ended up ‘tapioca’ (out of money) in a ‘berry patch’ (an easy game)