Worst Ways to Get Tilted

(Photo: Cardplayer.com)

When Phil Hellmuth famously said “If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time,” he invented the slogan for players who just can’t seem to catch a break.

Getting frustrated at the poker table - “going on tilt” - is so common that I’m confident in saying that anyone who has ever spent even a little bit of time playing the game knows exactly what it feels like. As the person who currently holds the distinction of being the world’s #1 most unlucky poker player (you’ll just have to take my word for it), I am definitely an authority on the myriad of different ways that you can be put on tilt at the table.

But even though it’s always frustrating when you throw in your money and lose, there are still levels of poker tilt that can surface depending on the situation. Not all tilt is created equal, and so to blow off a little steam from my most recent unlucky session, I’ve created a list of the top 5 worst ways to get tilted at the poker table.

Taking a bad beat at a tournament final table

Poker tournaments are a grind. Making a final table after hours or days of playing is without a doubt a thrilling experience in and of itself. That being said, poker players don’t keep score with the warm fuzzies of a job well done. Poker players keep score with money. And because the pay structures reserve the majority of the prize money for the top 4-5 finishers, making a final table is a beginning - not an end.

That’s why one of the worst ways to get tilted is to take a bad beat at a final table. There are few things more soul-crushing that the game has to offer than getting it in with the best of it just to get bounced right before the big pay jumps.

Getting your AA cracked

Double points if the money goes in pre-flop. Getting dealt aces is one of those small moments of pure bliss in an otherwise grey and foreboding world. Having that get wrecked by some donkey either flopping a set, riveting his straight, or just somehow getting there with two rags he shouldn’t have been playing the first place is enough to send even the most stoic player through the roof.

Losing with AA is without a doubt one of the worst ways to go on tilt because the expectations were so high, only for the results to go crashing through the floor. No one gets angry when their jack-ten off-suit is cracked, but the pain seeing your rockets go down in flames is enough to keep any player talking about it for hours, days, or even a lifetime.

Getting sucked out on when taking a shot at a higher stake

Few rewards are a sweet as earning the right to legitimately take a shot at a higher stake. After grinding the same level for weeks/months (or for some of you more aggressive types, minutes/seconds) at a time, going fishing in a larger pond can bring the promise of a fatter bankroll in a shorter amount of time.

So, when you move up only to get it in good and lose, the loss is devastating, because it’s not just about losing the money that’s in front of you - it’s about losing the ability to make more money in the future by continuing at that stake. Knowing you’ll have to start rebuilding all over again just because of a lousy run of cards is an instant way to go on massive tilt.

Losing to the guy who is dumping chips to the table

Everyone’s been in that great game where there is a single maniac donating money. People seem to be taking turns collecting buy-in’s while you patiently wait for the right moment to strike. When it finally comes, you seize the opportunity to get the fish’s chips in the middle while you have the best of it.

And then, it happens. A hand that had been a 90% favorite to win is suddenly drawing dead. You watch helplessly as your chips are unfairly dragged across the felt away from you. On a night when everyone else is making money hand over fist, you’re left with nothing but a bad beat story to show for your hours of patient play. Knowing that luck cost you such a perfect opportunity to pad your bankroll is definitely a perfect way to be instantly tilted.

Watching someone else “tap the glass”

This one doesn’t have anything to do with luck, but is definitely a personal pet peeve of mine. Sitting at the table with a huge fish is every true poker player’s dream. That’s why it’s so incredibly frustrating when other players start to insult, berate, or in any way encourage the bad player to leave. (As a side note: DO NOT BE THIS GUY).

My blood pressure instantly spikes when I’m sitting in a juicy game and someone at the table can’t stop tapping the glass. Even worse, you are generally powerless to stop this in the moment while it is going on. All you can do is try to politely steer the conversation towards something less adversarial, and hope that the fish doesn’t get up and leave.

Having frustration seep into your head for reasons other than bad luck is known as life tilt. And while being at the mercy of others’ behavior definitely makes this inevitable, it never seems to make it feel any better when it does come. That’s why at the end of the day, the best advice about the worst ways to go on tilt, is to always remember that no matter what isn’t going your way at the tables, it could always be worse!