Holz New Clothing Venture Noetics.Com Misses The Mark

When it comes to fashion, I don’t imagine my name is at the top of the list for tips and hints on what to wear – but I’m pretty sure it’s still well-above that of poker wunderkind Fedor Holz, who rather bizarrely has started his own poker fashion site, and boy is it horrible!

Holz, who ‘semi-retired’ from the game after a $10million heater in 2016, has turned his attention to the world of poker haute couture, his Twitter feed launching what one might hope would be an improvement on his own wardrobe…

Check out @NoeticsHood finally opened their store - https://t.co/dO0rSGdqnv. Limited style, handmade, best-quality, final table approved 😄

— Fedor Holz (@CrownUpGuy) March 6, 2017

However, despite drawing on the ‘sexiest poker player on the planet’ Patrik Antonius for some eye-candy in the promotional video for Noetics.com, the rather bleak efforts at fashion are distinctly unimpressive – although the price tags certainly aren’t!

The extremely limited fare on offer includes a ‘Ladies Casual’ hoodie, a saggy, baggy affair which is apparently ‘Soldout’ already despite the €186.00 being asked! One can only imagine that with summer festivals coming up a group of women have decided it would make for an excellent tent!

Likewise, the €215.00 ‘Purple River Pro’ hoodie is a shapeless effort which reeks of poor taste, and to be perfectly honest the entire range (if you can call 8 products – 5 hoodies, 2 t-shirts and a wristband - a range) would not look out of place in an off-the-high-street bargain-basement store, at prices 50-times less!

Now you may think I’m being unfairly harsh on the young entrepreneur, who is obviously trying to branch out from $million scoops of high-rollers (and who wouldn’t get bored winning those with great regularity?) but feel free to check out the merchandise yourself.

It says rather a lot about where the money has been spent on his new venture when even Antonius can’t make something look attractive, and it seems that the ‘exotic', shall we say, pricing, is an attempt to meet his modelling fees.

There is something beautiful about the venture, however, and that’s the drone footage in Antonius’ modelling video of the long-sleeved t-shirt! A 1 minute ad, which sees Antonius wearing the shirt for less than 10 seconds of it, gives you some sort of idea how little chance the fashion-wear itself has of getting you to part with €112.00 – money better spent on batteries for the drone I would suggest!

And Instagram – that photogenic marketplace for the social media fans and followers – doesn’t help Holz’s cause either. Yes Antonius looks great, but the t-shirt again would be more suited to the overweight me than the man himself!

Well, what can I say, you can’t buy taste – but I would have been a cheaper model for your ugly clothes Fedor!